Ive come to the conclusion that my summer will be boring.
and to the conclusion that I really dont have many friends.
I have acquaintances sure. but not too many good friends.
actually only two. one of them I can already feel slipping away.
its just a matter of time before we wont even hang out anymore.
and you know what? im tired of getting mad.
me being mad obviously does nothing because we just ignore it anyway.
its funny. like 2 months ago I was the happiest I could ever be.
but all good things must come to an end. its the truth.
now my weekends are a repeat of the weekend before.
boring. nothing exciting has happened in so long.

one of my other good friends has changed so much in this one year.
shes not who she used to be and she doesnt even notice.
its probably because shes trying too hard to impress everyone else.
she doesnt call. we dont hang out. and I cant do a thing about it.
because shell just ignore what im saying.

but people do change. some for the better. some for the worse.

I wish I was more open with people and just loosened up.
by loosen up I dont mean going to every party in the world.
in fact. im fine with not going to partys. I can have fun other ways.
I just need to find those other ways.
I have loosened up this year though. but I guess not enough.

maybe I do let people walk all over me and push me around.
but I guess I cant help it.

Im glad im starting to not care what people say about me.
after high school what will peoples opinions about me do?
nothing. it wont matter. I probably wont ever see those people
again anyway.

so go ahead. say whatever you want about me.

I think during the summer im going to go to my dads
for awhile. when I come back maybe things wont seem so routine.
I dont know.

for now. I wont use xanga much. why would I?
1 and a half school days left till summer.
and I know im not going to spend it typing about my life
to complete strangers. im going to make the best of it.

plus im cameraless for 2 weeks.


you may or may not read this.
but it is an online journal and I needed to get that off my chest.

dont expect comments.
if we talk ill comment you
just dont expect it immediately.

+              
oh and please. no sympathetic comments.
im not craving attention or comments or featured content.
its xanga. ill gain nothing from that anyway
im just speaking my mind.
my life isnt horrible I know
I love life.
I know people have it worse
so dont compare what im saying to other people

im exhausted.

our class is having a party tomorrow. awesome.
im bringing popcorn. swweett.

well today I was supposed to go
get my camera fixed with melody.
but she bailed.
I swear if theres one thing that pisses me off.
its that. dont say youre going to do something
with me then last second change your mind.
i may not tell you. but trust me it bothers
the hell out of me. so dont do it.
I hardly ever do that to anyone.
so why do people do it back.

ok people.
do not call me hardcore/emo/punk or whatever
save your stereotyping for someone else.
not me. I more than likely wont comment you back.

i havnt gotten one creative idea all week.
im in the mood to create something.
but I cant.

nevermind. I got an idea!
therefore. new layout.
all the layouts on here I made. if you didnt know.


im in the mood to dye my hair.
and potpie.

im commenting half of you now.
other half will be tomorrow.
so hold your horses.

quit with these stupid trends.
youre not a ninja.
youre not a dinosaur.
youre not electrik.
youre not 'emo'
youre a human being.

everyone is EMOTIONAL
but inanimate objects arent emo
'omg that tree over there is so emo'
shut the fuck up. seriously.

saying ' omgz _____ is TEH SEX!55' doesnt make you cool

shut up alreaaaady.

oh and someone please tell me
what the hell do you do to call yourself 'electrik'
cause im sure half you dont even know yourself
you just say it to make you sound cool.

spelling it with a k doesnt make you cool either.

get over yourselves.

bad.man. people at my school are dumb.

friday during gym this guy asked me
to come over to him so i did then
he asks me if I was gay. I said no.
and they started laughing.

then last period. guy by our locker
waits till im leaving for class before
he says anything and he goes man isnt
that the queerest kid youve ever seen.
i called him an asshole but i dont know
if he heard it.

then end of the day. girl tells me
i do my hair more then she does blahblah

and last night i found out some girl
I ride with in the mornings thinks im
'a stupid emo kid' or something because
I dont talk. sorry I dont want to fucking
make a conversation with you at 7 in the morning
epsecially if I dont even know you.
and dont call me that in the first palce.

I cant believe I actually let all that bother me.
whatever.
_______________________________

friday me melody and kelc watched 28 days later
thats pretty much all we did.

yesterday I went over to melodys
to watch her pierce her lip. she did it.
then me and kelc went to goodwill
I got a shirt then we got mario party 5.
we played that forever.

happy mothers daaay

7.

man. people at my school are dumb. friday during gym this gu... Total eProps: 102 | Total Comments: 56 Posted by paper_cuts_hurt - 5/8/2005 at 12:56 PM

numba seven. swweett.

ps. ill comment you guys either all today
or tomorrow. lazy!5!#f
pss. I burnt my mouth on pizza rolls
and its hurt like a bitch.